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Hermits have no peer pressure.
George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk.
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it.
Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night.
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
At one point he decided enough was enough.
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit a bookmark.
I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars.
Being Hurt By Someone You Love
Best Friends Forever
It Is What It Is
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