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I'm getting too old for this ship!
Your haircut is offensive to lesbians!
It's like a black barbie doll in Arizona - nobody's buying it!
A book hasn't caused me this much trouble since Where's Waldo went to that barber pole factory.
The future is like a Japanese game show, you have no idea what's going on.
I want to hold a mirror up to society and then win world record for biggest mirror.
I do not want to disappoint our Japanese public, especially Godzilla. Hahaha! Im just kidding, I know he doesn't care what humans do.
Why dont Catholics eat meat on Fridays? Ill tell you why: Its because the Pope owns Long John Silvers.
I can't read! I sign my name with an X! I once tried to make mashed potatoes with laundry detergent! I think I voted for Nader! NADER!
Stop eating peoples old French fries, pigeon! Have some self respect! Dont you know you can fly?
Affirmative action was designed to keep women and minorities in competition with each other to distract us while white dudes inject AIDS into our chicken nuggets.
Live every week like it's Shark Week.
I love this cornbread so much, I wanna take it behind a middle school and get it pregnant.
Happy New Year
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