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I'm kind of obsessed with food. I like to eat.
I was a dishwasher at one of those Japanese places that cook on your table. Not too fun.
Every time I've done comedy in, like, traditional comedy clubs, there's always these comedians that do really well with audiences but that the other comedians hate because they're just, you know, doing kind of cheap stuff like dancing around or doing, like, very kind of base sex humor a lot, and stuff like that.
For the majority of the time, I may as well have been just a really tan white kid. You know, I may as well have just been, like, a fat kid.
A lot of people my age think stand up sucks.
After you do a joke a few times, you have material that you know works. Although sometimes I have a joke that has worked a bunch of times and then one night it'll flop. And that's when I really take a hard look at myself and say: 'Well, that crowd is obviously wrong. That crowd has absolutely no idea what it's talking about.'
Do It Under the Influence Yourself! That's what we're shooting for! Get drunk and make your dreams come true.
50 Year Old Birthday
Believe In Yourself
Dirty Pick Up Lines
New Year Resolutions
Pick Up Lines
Things Happen For A Reason
Pick Up Lines
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