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I drove to work today in an $80,000 Mercedes and Im going home in a prop car from Fast and the Furious my life is over!
You fire a guy, you create a rival. You fire a woman, you create a housewife.
Its like high school. You cant fuck the prom queen until she finds out her best friend jerked you off underneath the bleachers!
I knew you liked dick, Babs, but I didnt realize you were a cocksucker.
Dana I have never cheated on my wife, not since she became my wife, but if you wanna jerk me in the car now, Im game.
That was a good speech, Lloyd. If I was 25 and liked cock, we could be something.
Listen, Lloyd, I want you to put all my files, folders, binders, everything into a box! If you find a used condom, an executioners mask, and a fucking spike paddle, dont think, just pack that bitch! Chop suey!
My assistant is to be gang-raped by a gang of one.
Smoke more weed, Turtle. Seriously, smoke more weed.
We are gonna get drunk with Russell Crowe and were gonna head-butt some goddamn kangaroos.
You can have it if you want to live in Agora fucking hills, and go to group therapy, but if you want a Beverly Hills mansion, a country club membership, and nine weeks a year in a Tuscan villa, then Im gonna need to take a call when it comes in at noon on a motherfucking Wednesday.
Im ready to go here, all right? Its like R. Kelly at recess. Honey, honey, what are you doing? Are you kidding me? Baby!
You know what they feed people on an indi set, Vinnie? Nothing! They dont give you a trailer. They tell you to go sit on an apple box. Ever try to bang an extra on an apple box?
Being Hurt By Someone You Love
Funny Christmas Card
I Love You So Much
Mind Your Own Business
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