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I just read the headline 'Shannon Doherty's heart goes out to Kim Kardashian.' That's all.
When did Vampires get so good at Karate?
I've decided it's finally time for me to get a real "leading man" body. Like Marlon Brando in The Godfather.
My previous philosophy was just to make a face that matches the words I'm saying, but the brilliant Duplass bros made Ed helms and I act.
Are we about to have some sort of wild west comedy tweet standoff? No one wins in this situation. Except me. But I was just saying thanks.
One of the great things about female nudity is that at least they have the comfort of knowing that men have all different kinds of preferences. There's not that many women out there who like small penises, but I think I came out all right. Let's see if I ever get a date.
Kermit was the Everyman, the original Tom Hanks, but I have a special place in my heart for Fozzie Bear. The classic borderline hacky entertainer.
If you can find the line between sympathetic and creepy, you have reached a very funny area.
I've just grown a little disappointed with 'Muppets in the Old West', 'Muppets Under Water' and all these weird concept movies. I just want to go take it back to the early 80's, when it was about the Muppets trying to put on a show. That's what I'm trying to bring back.
I was making out with this woman, and my shirt was off, and she leaned over and, in a really cute, girly voice, went, 'Hey, fatty!'
Being Fat quotes
I've been 6'4'' since I was 12. Goofy is somewhere in the lexicon.
I think it would be fun to have Hillary Clinton as the mother.
I'm better looking in person.
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