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I lapsed into rude.
Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to say it across the fence while they were hanging wash. Now they just say it on the Internet.
Elected office holds more perks than Elvis' nightstand.
A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.
A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the South is strongest amongst blacks. Kerry's appeal to Southern blacks is obvious. He is a white man who lives far, far away.
The death penalty is becoming a way of life in this country.
Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what's more life-affirming than cold, hard cash?
Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.
The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse.
A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to thirty-five and your job still requires you to wear a name tag, you've made a serious vocational error.
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was. She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.
A recent conversation: Dubya: Look at the clock, time is racing! Cheney: That's the second hand, George!
I'm like Bush, I see the world more like checkers than chess.
Friends With Benefits
Good Night Messages
I Miss You
Waiting For Love
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