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I learned the word "black" in every language just so I know when to be offended.
I'm not an expert at morality, but isn't that wrong?
Regrets are for horseshoes and handbags.
Freaky-deakies need love too.
I'm getting too old for this ship!
Your haircut is offensive to lesbians!
It's like a black barbie doll in Arizona - nobody's buying it!
A book hasn't caused me this much trouble since Where's Waldo went to that barber pole factory.
The future is like a Japanese game show, you have no idea what's going on.
I want to hold a mirror up to society and then win world record for biggest mirror.
I do not want to disappoint our Japanese public, especially Godzilla. Hahaha! Im just kidding, I know he doesn't care what humans do.
Why dont Catholics eat meat on Fridays? Ill tell you why: Its because the Pope owns Long John Silvers.
I can't read! I sign my name with an X! I once tried to make mashed potatoes with laundry detergent! I think I voted for Nader! NADER!
A New Day
Clever Facebook Status
Dont Trust Nobody
New Year Cards
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