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I left Saturday Night Live after that first year. I never wanted to work for more than a year on anything.
What makes a home home? Animals, and a little bit of clutter.
It takes somebody smart to play somebody dumb.
Break as few bones as possible and make as much noise as you can.
I went to college with every intention of being a doctor. I was redirected by my grades. That, and a fake radio show that I improvised with some friends. Wasn't even on the air.
I'm about as bright on Community as I was in school.
My favorite food is eggs. I like 'em over easy on a muffin with a little ham. I can have four of those every morning. I eat more eggs than anyone I know. How can you not love eggs? It's our birthright.
Love is huge. But if you're talking about men and women, it's got to start with the most initial obvious attraction that warthogs go through. Look at that ass! That's what keeps the world spinning. There's your God.
The best advice I can give you about falling is to never land.
My father was the funniest guy I ever met. I'm not sure if I stole his stuff or if I inherited it.
Marge is a terrible name for a mistress.
You could knock my teeth out and break my nose and there'd be something funny about it to me.
I guess I look so straight and normal nobody expects me to pick my nose and fall.
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