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I mean, what's great about touring is that's what you do. You're in a constant state of motion and then you stop to do a show and you move onto the next city. All you have to do is do the show. That's the only responsibility that you have.
I punished myself and avoided my reflection in mirrors and any windows. I would see myself reflected back, and I would look away, trying to pretend I didn't exist, because I hated myself so much.
I have learned to love that which is meant to harm me, so that I can stand in the way of those who are less strong. I can take the bullets for those who aren't able to.
Being Strong quotes
I can never tell when something is funny. I just have to do it onstage and find out.
Comedy was the key to everything. I grew up fast and controlled my future by bringing it on faster than it naturally unfolded. I cheated myself out of a childhood but then got a running headstart into adulthood that no one else could keep up with.
Grow up and let anyone try to contend with the adult you.
Comedy was all I ever wanted.
Being called ugly and fat and disgusting to look at from the time I could barely understand what the words meant has scarred me so deep inside that I have learned to hunt, stalk, claim, own and defend my own loveliness.
My boyfriend and I live together, which means we don't have sex ever. Now that the milk is free, we've both become lactose intolerant.
Maybe I wanted to hear it so badly that my ears betrayed my mind in order to secure my heart.
Being Betrayed quotes
People drain me, even the closest of friends, and I find loneliness to be the best state in the union to live in.
Feeling Lonely quotes
I love the word "faggot," because it describes my kind of guy. You see, I am a fag hag. Fag hags are the backbone of the gay community. Without us, you're nothing! We have been there all through history guiding your sorry ass through the underground railroad! ...We went to the prom with you.
And especially, especially, don't f*ck with vegans. Do not look vegans in the eye. If you get into an argument with a vegan, say "I'm wrong", and run away as fast as you can. Do not f*ck with vegans because they will f*ck you up... BECAUSE THEY'RE HUNGRY.
Being Who You Are
Funny Facebook Status
I Hate Life
Keeping It Real
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