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I saw a fat Indian guy and it made me go to the gym.
We should have a badass secret handshake.
You is kind. You is smart. You is important.
WTF Why is there no sheep emoji?
Waiting for the 'call me maybe' video from the rover on Mars.
Lady crossing the street, not paying attention, almost got hit. Turns to husband & screams, 'Why didn't YOU watch where I was going?!'
CNN annoyed me so I'm watching Dance Moms. Not the first time Tuesday night has ended up like this.
In a cab. It's like a hundred degrees. Can't tell if that manly odor means I'm stinky or if it's the cabbie.
There's a dude walking down the street with a box strapped to all sides of his head. That's for protection against the aliens, right?
Since Romney supports my right to buy guns with unlimited clips, will he let me buy nuclear weapons too? I need em 2 hunt bin laden. Oh wait...
So many rad Harold and Kumar fans confused why the chair was empty. 'Dude. Wait. Is Obama actually in the chair? I TOTALLY don't see him.'
Overheard. 'Ooh thass that guy from Herald and Gerald go to sumthin sumthin.'
What in the world is in that bag whatchoo got in that. BAG?
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