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I swear on my cat's grave.
You haven't see nothing yet till' you see me at the JERSEY fu..ING SHORE! Seeya later mum!
Lol so I'm the asshole in the bathroom that can't get the motion censored water and soap to come out and waving my hand for 5 minutes.
I call my vibrator the Elmo, because you know like tickle me Elmo
Seriously like who pee's in a bar?
Even though we're tiny bi...es I don't give a sh... I will fu..ing attack you like a squirrel monkey.
I will pee in a bush, I will sh.. in a bush, I will hide in a bush.
Oh my God! Someone needs to kiss my a.. asap!
Old people they lose their sex life and that's not a good time. That's why they get divorced all the time.
I love food. I love drinking, boys, dancing until my feet swell. I love my family, my friends, my job, my boss. And I love my body, especially the badonk.
I really don't want to cheat, like seriously, I don't want to.. but if youre gonna hand me a bottle of friggin' SoCo, something just comes over me, like I just go crazy.
Eating fried pickles was a life changing experience.
Every time I get excited I have to poop.
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