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I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.
Joseph Heller
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I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy.
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I don't believe in miracles because it's been a long time since we've had any.
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Hungry Joe collected lists of fatal diseases and arranged them in alphabetical order so that he could put his finger without delay on any one he wanted to worry about.
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He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it.
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He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
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Every writer I know has trouble writing.
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Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.
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I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service.
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The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on.
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We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist.
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Frankly, I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry.
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Success and failure are both difficult to endure. Along with success come drugs, divorce, fornication, bullying, travel, meditation, medication, depression, neurosis and suicide. With failure comes failure.
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