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I want to manufacture a feud.
I touched an Oscar once. Friend of mine has one, for writing. As soon as I touched it, he said, Now you'll never win one.
I remember saying in college that I would never do commercials.
I remember interviewing someone I actually felt bad for, and therefore didn't want to take an ironic stance against him. It actually turned out to be a really funny piece.
I learned more about elections on election night 2000 than I ever did during my 16 years of schooling.
I just want to do cool stuff.
I have to stay true to myself.
I get all of my comedy from CNN.
I don't know how this company got the name National Shakespeare Company, because it was literally like retards employing retards.
I don't feel like I even need to contribute.
I didn't really feel 100 percent comfortable until we started working on the 2004 election.
I didn't hang any pictures in my office for a year because I thought that I would be jinxing myself and have to take them down the next day.
I actually got the part. And I thought, Well, I'll do it for a while. I'll just quit if it's stupid.
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