I was very depressed when I was 19. I decided to pursue music, so I dropped out of school and I told my parents I didn't want any money from them. I got three jobs and I just hit the ground running. I would go back to my apartment every day and I would just sit there. It was quiet and it was lonely. It was still. It was just my piano and myself. I had at television and I would leave it on all the time just to feel like somebody was hanging out with me. And especially during the period when I was doing cocaine. It was like the drug was my friend. I never did it with other people. It's such a terrible way to fill that void, because it just adds to that void, because it's not real.