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I woke up in Vegas once and there was no toothpaste, but there was some leftover Jack Daniel's. I figured it would be good for my morning breath.
My last boyfriend smashed my heart into a million billion pieces. I've had no father figure and I had finally trusted a man. If I were to get involved with another guy, he'd have to be pretty much be the Second Coming.
I'm far from lonely. Far, far from it. But I don't want to settle down yet, Gross!
I get drunk and I like to dance to vinyl records in my room with my friends. I guess I'm not a party girl in the ï¿½vagina hanging out of my skirt' kind of way. I like getting drunk and partying but not in a gross way, I'm more like a pimp. More like a dance commander. Especially in America, 'party girl' is not a good image.
My ideal man would be funny and fat with a beard. I love fat men. I like real men. I don't like really feminine men who tan. I don't understand that. I like a funny man, though. Russell Brand's not quite my type, but if he had a fat, bearded friend, that would be perfect.
I could not bear to go out with a guy who takes longer than me to get ready. I don't want someone who's going to steal my moisturizer.
Aint got a care in the world, but got plenty of beer. Aint got no money in my pocket, but Im already here. And now the dudes are lining up cause they hear we got swagger. But we kick em to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger.
I want to make out with the fat guy from The Hangover¦Hes amazing. I like big, fat guys with beards that wear thick glasses.
Whatever. Im money I dont need money.
I think people can stand to take themselves just a little less seriously. Im fighting the war against pretension.
Im sure you gathered this by now: I just do what I want. Have I made out with chicks? Hell yeah. Did I think it was awesome? Hell yeah. I wouldnt call myself bi. Like, if I didnt eat meat for a week, it doesnt make me a vegetarian. So I like people, and thats just it. I like people.
Oh, yeah. I dont remember if Ive ever made out with Katy, but Ive kissed some b****es in my life.
On being a real party girl: That depends. Youve got to define party girl. If you mean Im a walking good time, then hells yeah. But Im not wasted and stumbling out of clubs and getting DUIs. Im not that kind of party girl. I may be blonde and fun as balls, but Im not a moron.
Being Hurt By Someone You Love
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