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I worship the quicksand he walks in.
Every time you think television has hit its lowest ebb, a new program comes along to make you wonder where you thought the ebb was.
A bad liver is to a Frenchman what a nervous breakdown is to an American. Everyone has had one and everyone wants to talk about it.
Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?
Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a week.
I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team.
Just when you think there's nothing to write about, Nixon says, I am not a crook. Jimmy Carter says, I have lusted after women in my heart. President Reagan says, I have just taken a urinalysis test, and I am not on dope.
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