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I wouldn't need Facebook if there was a website that just told me whether or not my exes got fat.
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Funny Facebook Status quotes
388 Comments
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I never get jealous when I see my ex with someone else, because my parents always taught me to give my used toys to the less fortunate.
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I hate weddings. Old people would poke me saying You're next. They stopped when I started going up to them at funerals and poking them, saying, You're next.
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Wanna come over to MySpace and Twitter my Yahoo till I Google all over your Facebook?
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Facebook is the only place where it's acceptable to talk to a wall.
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Why is there a show called When animals attack? It should be called When stupid people go near dangerous animals.
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Facebook is like a fridge. When you're bored you keep opening and closing it every few minutes to see if there's anything good in it.
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The greatest thing about Facebook, is that you can quote something and totally make up the source.
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Congratulations!! You are the 100th person to view my status. To see your prize please click Control + W.
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Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, write on walls, and get poked by people you don't know.
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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
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