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If someone says expect the unexpected slap them in the face and say 'I bet you didn't expect that!'
Unknown
427 Likes
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OH NICE, so you can update your status via mobile, but you cant text me back?
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Facebook needs a Drama of the day section in my news feed.
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Oh, it's sunny outside. I better update my Facebook status for all of my friends that don't have windows.
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Liking your own status, is like high-fiving yourself in public...
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Roses are red, Facebook is blue...you look bangable, so I'll add you.
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When girls hack a friends Facebook account: 'I love you b*tch!' When boys hack a friends Facebook account: 'I LOVE D*CK IN MY MOUTH!'
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Actually no, my status wasn't aimed at you, but hey, if the shoe fits, feel free to wear it.
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I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be Nobody so when I see stupid crap people post, I can Like it. And it will say Nobody Likes This.
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If people could see the face I make when I read their Facebook status updates, they would probably Unfriend me.
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Objects in profile pics are not as pretty as they appear.
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Dear Facebook, thanks for reminding me why moving away from my hometown was the best decision ever.
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I like my relationships like I like my eggs. Over easy.
Jarod Kintz
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