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It's the one thing I actively don't like: just being recognized.
People see me in the suit and they know I'm not fooling anyone, they know I'm rock and roll through and through.
Oscars isn't about comedy. It's about a bunch of people turning up to see if they have won an award. It's a historic, stuffy thing and I would want to have fun with it and I don't think they would want me to do that. I wouldn't be allowed to do what I wanted and it would be no fun for me reading from an autocue. I'd want to do it my way.
There's a story going round that I injected my pet dog with botox. I didn't. I haven't got a dog. I would never do anything to hurt or enhance the unconditional natural beauty of an animal. It was a joke.
I don't think a comedian should even be concerned with being cool or sexy, as soon as you do, you aren't a comedian any more. Looks are still the most important thing for women when it comes to meeting a partner. And that's fair enough, but a sense of humour is really important too. For starters, it's a great indicator of whether you are going to get on. If the first time you go on a date you don't find each other funny, there's a fundamental problem.
I'm not from these parts. I'm from a little place called England, we used to run the world before you lot.
There's no difference between fame and infamy now. There's a new school of professional famous people that don't do anything. They don't create anything.
People confuse the subject of the joke with the target of the joke, and they're very rarely the same.
I am not a wolf in sheep's clothing, I'm a wolf in wolf's clothing.
You should make something. You should bring something into the world that wasn't in the world before. It doesn't matter what it is. It doesn't matter if it's a table or a film or gardening-everyone should create. You should do something, then sit back and say, 'I did that.'
Why by a book when you can join a library.
Where there's a will - there's a relative!
The grass isn't always greener on the other side!
A New Day
Death And Dying
Merry Christmas Wishes
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