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It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.
In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.
In a house where there are small children the bathroom soon takes on the appearance of the Old Curiosity Shop.
If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back to where he came from.
I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.
I have been told by hospital authorities that more copies of my works are left behind by departing patients than those of any other author.
I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine.
Great literature must spring from an upheaval in the author's soul. If that upheaval is not present then it must come from the works of any other author which happens to be handy and easily adapted.
Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous.
Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.
Behind every argument is someone's ignorance. Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.
At fifteen one is first beginning to realize that everything isn't money and power in this world, and is casting about for joys that do not turn to dross in one's hands.
Anyone who tries to keep track of what is happening in China is going to end up by wearing all the skin of his left ear from twirling around on it.
Being Hurt By Someone You Love
Relationship With God
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