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Liberals become indignant when you question their patriotism, but simultaneously work overtime to give terrorists a cushion for the next attack and laugh at dumb Americans who love their country and hate the enemy.
Liberals are stalwart defenders of civil liberties - provided we're only talking about criminals.
Liberal soccer moms are precisely as likely to receive anthrax in the mail as to develop a capacity for linear thinking.
Ironically, since Obama was elected, for the first time in my life I'm sometimes not proud of my country.
In fact Sarah Palin has created more jobs than Obama has. She created eleven jobs fact-checking at the AP just for the Palin autobiography.
If we're so cruel to minorities, why do they keep coming here? Why aren't they sneaking across the Mexican border to make their way to the Taliban?
If the press really thinks Obama is Lincoln, they ought to treat him like they treated Bush, 'cause that's how they treated Lincoln. His critics compared Lincoln to an ape; they called him an illiterate baboon.
If only Al Sharpton were around, Lincoln would have known he was a victim of racism.
If John Kerry had a dollar for every time he bragged about serving in Vietnam - oh wait, he does.
If a university official's letter accusing a speaker of having a proclivity to commit speech crimes before she's given the speech - which then leads to Facebook postings demanding that Ann Coulter be hurt, a massive riot and a police-ordered cancellation of the speech - is not hate speech, then there is no such thing as hate speech.
I've decided to cut out the part of the speech where I say anything nice about Democrats.
I'm not going to be lectured to.
I might be in favor of national healthcare if it required all Democrats to get their heads examined.
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