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My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.
Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.
I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.
I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Happy Married Life quotes
Wedding Anniversary quotes
I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.
Being A Woman
Dirty Pick Up Lines
I Miss You
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