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My neighbor has a circular driveway... he can't get out.
My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.
Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.
Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.
It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.
It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.
Is it weird in here, or is it just me?
In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.
If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?
If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?
Dont Trust Anybody
Funny Facebook Status
Mind Your Business
Trust No One
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