TOPIC
AUTHOR
Close
Search
Close
Search
Close
Search
Close
Search
EVENTS
MEMBERS
LOGIN
SIGN UP
Quotes
Topics
Pictures
Questions
Authors
Blog
About
Terms
Privacy
Sitemap
Get in Touch
Advertise
Removal Request
Subscribe
Contact Us
Social
Facebook
Instagram
Twitter
Pinterest
Close
Submit Quote
Latest Quotes
Browse our latest quotes
Topic List
Categorized list of quote topics
Famous Authors
Alphabetical list of influential authors
Picture Quotes
Custom and user added quotes with pictures
Quotes
Questions
Submit Quote
My sister wanted to be an actress, but she never made it. She does live in a trailer. She got halfway. She's an actress, she just never gets called to the set.
Mitch Hedberg
1 Likes
1 Comments
RELATED QUOTES
My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don't really know what's happening down there. Who is the real hero?
Mitch Hedberg
0 Likes
Sponsored Links
It's weird... people say they're not like apes. Now how do you explain football then?
Mitch Hedberg
4 Likes
It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll think you're cocky.
Mitch Hedberg
2 Likes
Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?
Mitch Hedberg
3 Likes
If my kid couldn't draw I'd make sure that my kitchen magnets didn't work.
Mitch Hedberg
2 Likes
Sponsored Links
If I had nine of my fingers missing I wouldn't type any slower.
Mitch Hedberg
1 Likes
If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed-up.
Mitch Hedberg
6 Likes
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later.
Mitch Hedberg
5 Likes
I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones.
Mitch Hedberg
4 Likes
I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.
Mitch Hedberg
0 Likes
Sponsored Links
I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart.
Mitch Hedberg
1 Likes
I would imagine that if you could understand Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.
Mitch Hedberg
6 Likes
TRENDING
TRENDING TOPICS
Apr 24
Anzac Day
Blessings
Complicated Love
Courageous
Creativity
Fake
Friendship
Funny Facebook Status
Gay
Get Over It
Getting Over Someone
Good
Impolite
Knowledge
Life
Loyalty
Men
Motivational
Persuasion
Positive Thinking
ABOUT
Terms
Privacy Policy
Removal Request
Sitemap
Contact Us
OUR GOAL
Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life.
© 2024 SearchQuotes™