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My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
My father-in-law gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don't know why there's this big rush to do this.
Little girls love dolls. They just don't love doll clothes. We've got four thousand dolls and ain't one of them got a stitch of clothes on.
It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.
It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.
If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.
If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck.
If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.
If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.
Redneck Girl quotes
If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck.
Redneck Girl quotes
If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'
Dysfunctional Family quotes
If men have a smell it's usually an accident.
I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.
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