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Nature is one great big wood-chipper. Sooner or later, everything shoots out the other end in a spray of blood, bones and hair.
Most people have no idea how to politely answer a phone. The English do, and it's been their only major business advantage for the past two centuries.
Most of us have only two or three genuinely interesting moments in our lives; the rest is filler.
Men won't read any email from a woman that's over 200 words long.
Making eye contact with adults while dressed as a clown is risky.
Make your goals big and broad enough so that they never become answered prayers and boomerang to curse you.
Lottery tickets are a surtax on desperation.
Long lives aren't natural. We forget that senior citizens are as much an invention as toasters or penicillin.
Life always kills you in the end, but first it prevents you from getting what you want.
It's weird when people start sentences with 'frankly' - as if their other sentences don't count.
It's very strange that most people don't care if their knowledge of their family history only goes back three generations.
It's difficult to speak with beautiful people. No matter how hard you try to pretend otherwise, you still want them to like you.
It also allows you to look as though you're not particularly from the present, future or past, either.
50th Wedding Anniversary
Getting Over Someone
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