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Not eating meat is a decision, eating meat is an instinct.
My biggest regret in life is that I didn't hit John Denver in the mouth while I has the chance.
I've eaten things that didn't complain this much.
I would never do crack... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass, okay?
I will not bond. I will not share. I refuse to nuture.
I want you to take away the hope because that's the thing that's killing me.
I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate. All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with.
I do have to say that I think that President Obama is the greatest President in the history of all of our Presidents, and that he can do no wrong in my book. So how's that for prejudice on the Democratic side?
Marriage is like a dull meal with the dessert at the beginning
Jerry Lewis has been married twenty times. He gets married on a Tuesday, they find his wife dead in a swimming pool on Thursday. Maybe if you married someone who's old enough to swim next time, OK Jerry?
I'm the enemy because I like to think. I like to read. I'm into freedom of speech and freedom of choice. I'm the kind of guy that could sit in a greasy spoon and wonder, gee, should I have the T-bone steak or the jumbo rack of barbecue ribs or the side order of gravy fries? I want high cholesterol. I would eat bacon and butter and buckets of cheese. Okay? I want to smoke Cuban cigars the size of Cincinnati in the nonsmoking section. I want to run through the streets naked with green Jell-O all over my body reading Playboy magazine. Why? Because I might suddenly feel the need to. Okay, pal?
Why hate someone for the color of their skin when there are much better reasons to hate them.
The best pitch I ever heard about cocaine was back in the early eighties when a street dealer followed me down the sidewalk going: I got some great blow man. I got the stuff that killed Belushi.
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