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Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.
Jeff Foxworthy
8 Likes
8 Comments
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Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.
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My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
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My father-in-law gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don't know why there's this big rush to do this.
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It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.
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If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.
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If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.
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If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.
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If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck.
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If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'
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