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Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis.
One drink is too many for me and a thousand not enough.
New York is my Lourdes, where I go for spiritual refreshment... a place where you're least likely to be bitten by a wild goat.
It's not that the Irish are cynical. It's rather that they have a wonderful lack of respect for everything and everybody.
It is a good deed to forget a poor joke.
If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks.
I wish I'd been a mixed infant.
I was court-martialled in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.
I say myself no depressed words just depressed minds.
I have never seen a situation so dismal that a policeman couldn't make it worse.
I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer.
I am a drinker with writing problems.
I am a daylight atheist.
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