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President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to wage war, and I'm thinking, well, hell, he didn't need the approval of the American voters to become president, either.
President Bush has been silent on Schwarzenegger. Of course, he can't pronounce Schwarzenegger.
People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine.
No one knows if Saddam is still alive. They keep showing old footage of him on TV saying that it's live. You know, it's like the same thing we do with Dick Cheney.
Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.
New York... when civilization falls apart, remember, we were way ahead of you.
New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.
Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't know anything about explosives, but, my God, do those things even need to explode?
It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or does it not really feel like Ramadan?
It's official, Arnold said he will enter the race for governor. At least that's what everybody thinks he said.
Iraq's elite Republican Guard is doing so badly they're changing their name to the Democratic Guard.
I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.
I know these jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen, see this is the problem you run into when you're between impeachments.
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