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Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial we.
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.
Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.
No sinner is ever saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon.
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
Necessity is the mother of taking chances.
Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.
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