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Scarlett Brighton: Kick his ass, Mark! Mark: Shut the FUCK up, Scarlett.
We shouldn't be cock-blocking McLovin, we should be guiding his cock. -Officer Michaels
He is the sweetest guy. Have you ever looked into his eyes? It was like the first time I heard the Beatles. -Seth
Evan: Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, It was so pimp, I even offered to pay for the alcohol. Seth: Oh no, that IS pimp. Evan: That's what I was afraid of.
Spread your shit! Get on the ground! Loaded gun! Ready to go! Spread your shit! Pussies on the pavement, fellas. -Officer Slater [pointing gun at Evan and Seth]
Momma's making a pubie salad, and she wants some Seth's own dressing. -Seth
Prepare to be fucked by the long dick of the law! -Officer Michaels
Nobody has gotten a hand job in cargo shorts since 'nam! -Seth
You know how many foods are shaped like dicks? The best kinds. -Seth
Fogell: What's it like to have a gun? Officer Michaels: It's like having two cocks. If one of your cocks could kill someone.
Dude! That means that by some fate we were paired together and she thought of me. Thought of me enough to want me to be responsible for the entire funness of her party! She wants to fuck me! She wants my dick in and around her mouth! -Seth
I am gonna give you the best blow J ever... with my mouth. -Becca
Calm down, calm down. She likes you. She wants to suck on your penis. That's a good thing. It's the best. -Evan
I Still Love You
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