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The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It's a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.
Nature knew what she was doing when she figured out the penis and the cunt.
The God's honest truth is that I'm probably funnier, but he's smarter. Here's the thing about Stern, he's really a smart guy. He's nutty. He's outrageous. He's all those things, but he's also a very smart guy.
Figure out what to do, then take a nap.
I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I'll never get to do that.
It should be like a salmon taking to open water. I've done so much morning radio that I won't be overwhelmed by it, but it's still going to be a challenge.
Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do...
If you're a guy, you have absolutely no idea what's going on at any time in the relationship, ever. Here's what you know: you know when you're getting laid, and you know when it's all over. Those are the only two things you're aware of.
All TV is, is really: 'Don't you want to be this, aren't you glad you're not that.' There's nothing really in the middle.
My son I worry about. I'm pretty sure he's gonna be gay. At this point I'm just hoping he's not a bottom. Sorry to sound closed-minded and uptight, but let's face it, no dad wants his son to be gay. Not only do you get no grandkids, but I'm sure high school is no picnic for a fifteen-year-old gay boy. On the other hand, maybe I'm just viewing this through the bifocals of an old heterosexual dude. The way things are going, my son will probably get his ass kicked for not being gay. 'Carolla thinks he's too good to suck cock. Come on boys, lets get him.
You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
My feeling is this whole country is founded on the principle of 'if you are not hurting anyone, and you're not fucking with someone else's shit, and you are paying your taxes, you should be able to just do what you want to do.' It's the freedom and the independence.
I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don't know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.
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