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The best things in life are silly.
Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.
One way to compensate for a tiny brain is to pretend to be dead.
Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.
Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.
Normal people... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive.
Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams.
Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.
If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?
If a job's worth doing, it's too hard.
I respectfully decline the invitation to join your hallucination.
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