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The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
Children really brighten up a household - they never turn the lights off.
I love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away.
The trouble with children is that they're not returnable.
The trouble with children is that they are not returnable.
Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?
Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They came through you but not from you and though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
When children are doing nothing, they are doing mischief.
I like children - fried.
W C Fields
Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.
P J O Rourke
Never have more children than you have car windows.
Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex.
Waiting For Love
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