The True Pioneer Of Civilization Is Not The Newspaper, Not Religion, Not The Railroad--but Whiskey! - SearchQuotes

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The true pioneer of civilization is not the newspaper, not religion, not the railroad--but whiskey!

Mark Twain

6 Likes

Religion quotes

Civilization quotes

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"You ever walk behind someone walking so slow slow you have to hold yourself back from stabbing them? '...You better move it along, huh. My walker has wheels for a reason." You ever walk next to that stranger who wants to walk the same speed as you? '...Get the fu.. away from me... what are we--on a date here? I don't even know you.' Sometimes I find myself being a weirdo... you ever been walking next to some stranger and for no reason at all you decide that if you beat them to the corner, you'll be a millionaire? They're like, 'whatever'. HAHA! I get to press the walk button for you! ... You think those walk buttons do anything? I think some guy at the government was like, 'What can we give the morons to press? How bout a button!?' You always press 'em, you're like, '...maybe I didn't press it hard enough...' Then someone will come up and be like, 'Did you press it?' --'Yeah, I pressed it.' They're like, 'Why don't you press it again?'--'You're like, 'Yeah I'll press it again.' Then a

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The press is like the peculiar uncle you keep in the attic - just one of those unfortunate things.

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I've had much nastier things said about me in the British press than in the Bosnian press.

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