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There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.
The other day I... uh, no, that wasn't me.
The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing.
Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.
So, do you live around here often?
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.
My neighbor has a circular driveway... he can't get out.
My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.
Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.
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