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This plan's been fu..ed since Jump Street. -Seth
So, you guys on MySpace? -Francis the Driver
Scarlett Brighton: Kick his ass, Mark! Mark: Shut the fu.. up, Scarlett.
We shouldn't be cock-blocking McLovin, we should be guiding his cock. -Officer Michaels
He is the sweetest guy. Have you ever looked into his eyes? It was like the first time I heard the Beatles. -Seth
Evan: Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, It was so pimp, I even offered to pay for the alcohol. Seth: Oh no, that IS pimp. Evan: That's what I was afraid of.
Spread your sh..! Get on the ground! Loaded gun! Ready to go! Spread your sh..! Pussies on the pavement, fellas. -Officer Slater [pointing gun at Evan and Seth]
Momma's making a pubie salad, and she wants some Seth's own dressing. -Seth
Prepare to be fu..ed by the long di.. of the law! -Officer Michaels
Nobody has gotten a hand job in cargo shorts since 'nam! -Seth
You know how many foods are shaped like di..s? The best kinds. -Seth
Fogell: What's it like to have a gun? Officer Michaels: It's like having two cocks. If one of your cocks could kill someone.
Dude! That means that by some fate we were paired together and she thought of me. Thought of me enough to want me to be responsible for the entire funness of her party! She wants to fu.. me! She wants my di.. in and around her mouth! -Seth
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