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This year, I'm just making one New Year's resolution: Stop making resolutions. My only other resolution is to quit breaking my resolutions.
Unknown
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A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one Year and out the other.
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This year my New Year's resolution was to stop saying 'Seacrest out!' after I ejaculate.
Zach Galifianakis
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New Years Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.
James Agate
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Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now averagewhich means, you have met your New Year's resolution.
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Resolution One: I will live for God. Resolution Two: If no one else does, I still will.
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I will stop peeping into my boyfriend's female friends profile on facebook.
Unknown
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Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.
Mark Twain
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I hope the world ends in 2012 so I can't be held accountable for my New Year's resolutions.
Unknown
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I do not make new year's resolutions. The only thing I do in excess is be awesome, I'm not going to stop that in 2012.
Unknown
19 Likes
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I probably shouldn't be making any new resolutions this year...mainly because I'm still working on the ones from last year.
Unknown
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New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.
James Agate
34 Likes
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Never tell your resolution beforehand, or it's twice as onerous a duty.
John Selden
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