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What if God exists except it turns out he doesn't really like people very much?
What exactly is it that humans do that is specifically human? There has to be something. How odd it is for billions of people to be alive, yet not one of them is really quite sure of what makes people people.
We're rapidly approaching a world comprised entirely of jail and shopping.
We want our idols to be dead because it makes death a much less scary place.
We need to be around our families not because we have so many shared experiences to talk about, but instead because they know precisely which subjects to avoid.
We live in an era with no historical precedents. History is no longer useful as a tool in helping us understand current changes.
We decided that the French could never write user-friendly software because they're so rude.
Unhappiness is something we are never taught about; we are taught to expect happiness, but never a Plan B to use to use when the happiness doesn't arrive.
Try not thinking of peeling an orange. Try not imagining the juice running down your fingers, the soft inner part of the peel. The smell. Try and you can't. The brain doesn't process negatives.
Too much free time is certainly a monkey's paw in disguise. Most people can't handle a structureless life.
Tofu hot dogs are actually scarier than real hot dogs. It's like wanting the worst possible meat product without even the thrill of it actually being meat.
Thinking you're immortal is weirdly similar to being immortal.
There's nothing cure or funny or lovable about being cheap. It's a total turn-off.
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