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Why dont Catholics eat meat on Fridays? Ill tell you why: Its because the Pope owns Long John Silvers.
I can't read! I sign my name with an X! I once tried to make mashed potatoes with laundry detergent! I think I voted for Nader! NADER!
Stop eating peoples old French fries, pigeon! Have some self respect! Dont you know you can fly?
Affirmative action was designed to keep women and minorities in competition with each other to distract us while white dudes inject AIDS into our chicken nuggets.
Live every week like it's Shark Week.
I love this cornbread so much, I wanna take it behind a middle school and get it pregnant.
That's why I can't watch American Idol ... it is like karaoke without the booze.
I've dated all the females on Flavor of Love.
White people stole jazz, rock n' roll, Will Smith, and heart disease.
Tina Fey and I had an agreement that if Barack Obama won, I would speak for the show [30 Rock] from now on.
I was supposed to be in that movie Rush Hour, but 2 weeks into shooting, I was replaced by Jackie Chan.
I'm the face of post racial America, deal with it Cate Blanchett.
As soon as I beat Mel Gibson's a.. on film, I'll be bigger than, I'll be bigger than Will Smith's son.
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