Wife: Honey I Want You To Whisper Dirty Things In My Ear! Husband: Kitchen, Living Room, Dinning Room, Patio

I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be Nobody so when I see stupid crap people post, I can Like it. And it will say Nobody Likes This.

Unknown

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Wanna come over to MySpace and Twitter my Yahoo till I Google all over your Facebook?

Unknown

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Facebook is the only place where it's acceptable to talk to a wall.

Unknown

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Why is there a show called When animals attack? It should be called When stupid people go near dangerous animals.

Unknown

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Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, write on walls, and get poked by people you don't know.

Unknown

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I wonder if fat drug dealers sell diet coke.

Charlie Sheen

2230 Likes

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In the past, when you were angry with someone you fought them. Now you just delete them off Facebook. That'll teach 'em to fu.. with you.

Unknown

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"I think we should feel other people." (Blind couple breaking up.)

Unknown

451 Likes

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If you're talking behind my back, you're in a good position to kiss my ass!

Unknown

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My mother never understood the irony in calling me a "son-of-a-bi...."

Unknown

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You know how they say when you die, your whole life flashes before you? Well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?

Unknown

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Don't do drugs kids. There's a time and place for everything. It's called college.

South Park

687 Likes

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