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Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.
Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.
Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.
Words are only painted fire; a look is the fire itself.
Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation.
Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
When red-haired people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn.
When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet in his private heart no man much respects himself.
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
When a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his being able to deceive other people.
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