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You must accept responsibility for your actions. This doesn't include reactions, interactions or transactions if you're thinkin' loophole.
It's easy to point the finger at someone else & place blame. Go head try it it's fun. Pick anyone & start blame placing the shit outta them.
How great if, as well as creating life in their womb, a woman could use her vagina to make hot fudge sundaes.
To make boxing training more exciting my trainer dresses as a ninja and yells, 'Ive never felt pain like this!! Who is this human!?'
I can smell bullshit from a mile away but it's so much harder to detect when it's around you all day.
Valentine's Day is a time to celebrate the joy of being in love. Unless you're single & lonely then it's called Laundry Day.
Valentines Day quotes
You have to learn the crowd. I just pay attention to them so I can make sure I can make them laugh.
When I first hit the scene, it was just a lot of go, go, go, go, go. I have a lot of natural energy anyway, but it was over the top.
Vince Vaughn is a genuine person, awesome guy. He'll come to a lot of my shows. It's not that often that you can meet someone as cool as Vince.
That MySpace is the story of the year. Everyone but my mother is on it.
Jim Norton and Harland Williams always make me laugh.
In school I was pretty quiet. Kinda shy until my junior year. But at home I was a freak.
If you use tact you can say anything, then make it funny.
A Real Man
Funny Facebook Status
Trust In God
Two Faced People
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