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I haven't had sex in so long I am considering becoming a born again virgin.
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.
The four most important words in any marriage...'Ill do the dishes.'
You know its love when you want to keep holding hands even after youre sweaty.
If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.
The only people who make love all the time are liars.
To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia.
Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. Theres too much fraternizing with the enemy.
I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
Love is the answer, but while youre waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.
Shopping is better than sex. At least if youre not satisfied, you can exchange it for something you really like.
How many people here have telekinetic powers? Raise my hand.
Sometimes, when I feel like nobody understands me, it helps to think of you! Nobody understands you either.
Today I will be happier than a bird with a french fry.
Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
I told my psychiatrist everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous; everyone hasn't met me yet
God writes a lot of comedy-the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
Life is like a cobweb, not an organizational chart.
Life is short; talk fast.
50th Wedding Anniversary
Pushing People Away
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