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Elayne Boosler Quotes & Sayings

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20 entries tagged including 15 subtopics.
Last updated Oct 2023

Elayne Boosler Topics

Men And Women
Funny
Intelligence
Women
Television
Money
Mankind
Wilderness
Guidance
Christian
Men
Independent Women
Better Off Dead
Funny Gay

QUOTES

My brother is gay and my parents don't care, as long as he marries a doctor.

66 Likes

Funny Gay quotes

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I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

4 Likes

Better Off Dead quotes

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.

22 Likes

Independent Women quotes

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.

48 Likes

Men And Women quotes

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.

2 Likes

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When the sun comes up, I have morals again.

1 Likes

To listen to your own silence is the key to comedy.

1 Likes

The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.

1 Likes

My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions.

1 Likes

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me.

1 Likes

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I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body.

0 Likes

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

0 Likes

Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?

0 Likes

My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions

6 Likes

Wilderness quotes

Christian quotes

Guidance quotes

Wouldn't it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers?

3 Likes

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Wouldn't it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers?

4 Likes

Television quotes

You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot.

5 Likes

We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, 'You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms.'

79 Likes

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I only lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

16 Likes

Intelligence quotes

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking

56 Likes

Men And Women quotes

1

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