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Erma Bombeck Quotes & Sayings

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138 entries tagged including 76 subtopics.
Last updated Apr 2023

Erma Bombeck Topics

QUOTES

It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.

It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.

18 Likes

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You have to love a nation that celebrates its Independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism.

26 Likes

Independence Day quotes

Laughter rises out of tragedy, when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.

21 Likes

Laughter quotes

Families aren't easy to join. They're like an exclusive country club where membership makes impossible demands and the dues for an outsider are exorbitant.

24 Likes

Family Loyalty quotes

Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart.

14 Likes

Carpe Diem quotes

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Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.

11 Likes

Thanksgiving quotes

No One Diets on Thanksgiving. What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?

14 Likes

Thanksgiving quotes

The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

11 Likes

When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.

27 Likes

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.

15 Likes

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A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.

21 Likes

Halloween quotes

Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-raising, they are unemployed.

125 Likes

Graduation quotes

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriendand he's a priest.

8 Likes

Boyfriend quotes

The family. We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.

18 Likes

Family Problem quotes

Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving

44 Likes

Shit Happens quotes

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Just living is not enough. One must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower. ~Hans Christian Anderson When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me."

55 Likes

Life Lesson quotes

Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.

16 Likes

Cute Summer quotes

On vacations: We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings.

On vacations: We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings.

21 Likes

Vacation quotes

In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television.

3 Likes

Television quotes

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me.

39 Likes

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