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Erma Bombeck Quotes & Sayings
138 entries tagged including 76 subtopics.
Last updated Feb 2021
Erma Bombeck Topics
Death And Dying
It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
You have to love a nation that celebrates its Independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism.
Independence Day quotes
Laughter rises out of tragedy, when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.
Families aren't easy to join. They're like an exclusive country club where membership makes impossible demands and the dues for an outsider are exorbitant.
Family Loyalty quotes
Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart.
Carpe Diem quotes
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
No One Diets on Thanksgiving. What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?
The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.
Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-raising, they are unemployed.
A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriendand he's a priest.
The family. We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.
Family Problem quotes
Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving
Shit Happens quotes
Just living is not enough. One must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower. ~Hans Christian Anderson When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me."
Life Lesson quotes
Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.
Cute Summer quotes
On vacations: We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings.
In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television.
When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me.
Dirty Pick Up Lines
I Love You
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