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Gabriel Iglesias Quotes & Sayings
42 entries tagged including 5 subtopics.
Last updated Dec 2022
Gabriel Iglesias Topics
Life is measured by how you lived it, not by the years.
Live For The Moment quotes
Honestly, you got to take care of the people that take care of you. I know that sounds like cliche, or borderline phony, but that's the case. The reason I've had the fans that I have is because I've been consistent over the years and kept coming back and doing the same runs. I'm never going to stop doing the cities I've gone through. I'm only going to add.
I got a brother who calls me Hollywood. Sisters kind of keep their distance. Even my mom is kind of like ahhh with me. Yeah dude, it really sucks . And I wish things were different. Unfortunately, they don't understand everything I go through on a day to day basis to be able to maintain what I'm doing
Now I understand why people do drugs, why people drink, and why people go crazy. As the success level goes up and up and up, the further detached I get from everybody else. Luckily, with my girlfriend, everything is gravy because I brought her into it. I brought her in and she's very hands on with my career.
That's one thing about my shows. I tell people, I'm not a comedian, I'm just a really funny reporter. I put my life out there and make it entertaining. By putting it out there, it helps me to deal with it, you know, so I don't snap and so I don't go off the handle when I get home.
The cop gets to the window and says the same thing that they all say, right, 'Do you know why I stopped you?' It was too easy. I looked at him and I said, 'Cause you can smell it."'
Walgreens, Rite Aid, CVS and Wal-Mart have all figured out the evolution of life and they grabbed all the products that are necessary for a life. And they stuck them in one aisle and they put them in order according to how you mess up...First...
I don't even have a clue as to where to find a pregnancy test. I'm looking at all the aisles...they don't have one that says 'oops.'
I'll walk up to a woman, I'll say the first thing that comes to mind: 'Hey, you hungry?'
When I go to dance clubs, I always dance with big girls, so we finish at the same time.
I'm a big boy, but I can get jiggy with it. Ladies, I will go to dance clubs, and I will tear it up hardcore for a good 30 seconds.
I got off the plane...I was walking and cooking at the same time.
Got an offer to do my next special in 3D. Sounds cool but do you really want me coming into your house?
Why buy a bootleg shitty copy of my special when you can get it on AMAZON for only $2.99. Swap meet cant do that!!
I cant seem to get into the WORLD CUP. On a positive note, Walmart in my hood was empty today because it. No lines, GOOOOOOOOOALLLLL!
I'm in Vegas with a mean hangover. I guess that means I'm having fun.
Just had an endoscopy. They found an ulcer. Im gonna try to start taking it easy. :P more naps less cookies.
Big shout out to all the people who were at the Ice House in Pasadena Ca last night. I had a great time crashing the show. Made it home.
Just had a bowl of oatmeal and 3 cups of coffee. Heading back home to wait for the storm.
Being The Bigger Person
Done With You
Falling For You
Falling In Love
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