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Jay Leno Quotes & Sayings
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93 entries tagged including 50 subtopics.
Last updated Mar 2024
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QUOTES
Today, one year after their divorce, Pamela and Tommy Lee announced they're getting back together. You know what that means? There's still hope for Ike and Tina Turner.
Jay Leno
29 Likes
Men And Women quotes
Divorce quotes
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If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology.
Jay Leno
3 Likes
Hollywood quotes
CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.
Jay Leno
34 Likes
Men And Women quotes
Cheating quotes
Politics is just show business for ugly people.
Jay Leno
3 Likes
Politics quotes
The University of Ilinois has hired 15 women to smell pig manure all day so that researchers can find out what makes pig manure smell so bad. You know who I feel sorry for? The woman who applied for this job and got turned down.
Jay Leno
24 Likes
Women quotes
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For the first time in history, s.. is more dangerous than the cigarette afterward.
Jay Leno
71 Likes
Sex quotes
Bush said today he is being stalked. He said wherever he goes, people are following him. Finally, someone told him, 'Psst. That's the Secret Service.'
Jay Leno
22 Likes
Funny quotes
Putdowns quotes
NBC - no body cares.
Jay Leno
10 Likes
Funny quotes
Television quotes
Network Television quotes
A Minneapolis company has come out with a credit card size shotgun that fits in your wallet. The inventor says he invented it to give people a sense of security. Oh yeah, what makes you feel more secure than sitting on shotgun? Now how does this work? What's the first thing a thief steals? Your wallet, oh, now he's got your gun too!
Jay Leno
29 Likes
Funny quotes
Stupidity quotes
Big news on CNN, a search has uncovered illegal biochemical agents, toxins and other dangerous substances. Not in Iraq, in Rush Limbaugh's medicine cabinet.
Jay Leno
26 Likes
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Government quotes
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My wife is going to kill me. But you look like my wife, so that's Ok!
Jay Leno
25 Likes
Funny quotes
Women quotes
The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.
Jay Leno
9 Likes
Funny quotes
Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.
Jay Leno
18 Likes
Funny quotes
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