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Johnny Carson Quotes & Sayings
38 entries tagged including 29 subtopics.
Last updated Jun 2021
Johnny Carson Topics
Funny Christmas Card
Men And Women
If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.
For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.
Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
I know you've been married to the same woman for 69 years. That is marvelous. It must be very inexpensive.
If variety if the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam
Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.
The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.
If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money.
Men And Women quotes
Ex Husband quotes
Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.
My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.
Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: Are your ready?
Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined.
For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.
If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
Anniversary For Boyfriend
Being There For Someone
Being There For You
Fathers Day Messages
Missing Old Friends
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